My Nifty Online Resume

So in lieu of the standard boring list of jobs and such, I've decided to make some sort of blog page out of my work history. Hopefully this will entertain as well as get me hired to a position of wealth and power.

Or not.

Here goes.

The Long Saga of Sam's Employment and Education:

I started working pretty early in life, my first job being that of an all-purpose laborer at a ranch just outside of my puny little home town of South Prairie, WA which I landed at the ripe old age of 12. I worked there throughout my academic career at White River High School (where I graduated with honors) and Pierce College (where I maintained a 4.0 grade average, out of a possible 4.0),most often in the summer. I picked up a lot of useful skills, mostly carpentry and machine operation, although I must say that being taught how to use dynamite and bulldozers by an intoxicated retired military engineer should be illegal. Come to think of it, it probably is.

Be that as it may, I emerged from the Hidden Valley Ranch (no, honestly, that was the name of the place) at least physically unscathed, with enough money to pay for my 1994-1995 AFS exchange trip to Iceland. Where I attended Kvennaskólinn í Reykjavik. Where I didn't work and didn't really show up to classes to any real degree. Best year of my life.

My next job, the summer I turned 19, was likewise in the idyllic confines of South Prairie. After my return from my exchange trip, I wound up working 16 hours a day, 6 days a week for the fire-trap/limb-removal service known as Hilstrom's Cabinets Inc. This lasted just long enough for my wrist to be broken by a wood-chipper with most of its safety devices removed to improve efficiency, at which point I was "let go" to save them the money of paying for my medical bills.

The next job was a particular low-point in my employment history. I got a job at a Burger King. ' 'Nuff said.

Things started to look up when I began to attend Green River Community College (3.8 GPA, graduated with Highest Honors) where I got a job tutoring in the Student Help Center (English, English as a Foreign Language, French, Spanish, Biology, Geology, and Philosophy) as well as teaching informal classes in International English as a Foreign Language for the International Program, and helping out with some remedial classes. This is to date one of my favorite jobs of all time, as the work was challenging, varied, down right fun, and utterly free of high-explosives, dangerous machinery, and the nigh-mandatory consumption of trans-fatty acids. I also spent a great deal of time hunched over a tired old Mac writing stories and editorials for the Green River Current, in between editing and arguing with the professor about lay-out and too many feel-good articles.

After I graduated Green River with credits far in excess of the necessary 90, I returned to Iceland to study Icelandic at Haskóli Íslands. Sadly, my previous slackage as an AFSer seemed to stick, and I didn't finish my first year of studies. I did, however, work as a security-guard/handy-man for The Reykjavík Botanical Garden, one of the easiest gigs I've ever had, as well as teaching the occasional class at Enskuskólinn.

I then returned to the States in order to discover that I absolutely loathed attending The Evergreen State College, which did not last long at all. I wound up doing a lot of security work, both for The Puyallup Fair and for an outfit called Star Management Services where the fact that I lack the oh-my-god-you're-famous gene landed me work as backstage security and I got to meet interesting people like Johnny Rotten and Isaac Hays. A bit later I started working for Tully's, an espresso chain that fought a brave, but ultimately doomed battle against the Evil Empire of Starbucks, as a barrista and taster, as well as writing some of their ad copy.

Eventually, I got bored with the US and returned to Iceland in 1999, in order to work for the family of a good friend, providing home-care and support for the family during a very trying time. This wound up sequewaying into a full-time position at Reykjavik Social Services, where I worked both in "home help" and as a social counselor. The pay might have left something to be desired, but in the two plus years I worked there, I learned far more Icelandic than I ever picked up as an AFSer or in HÍ, so that made up for a lot.

After another overlong stay in the States, I worked briefly for Kaffitár, before landing a teaching gig in January of 2003 at Mimir-simenntun, where I continued to teach until 2006. I also began working with Vinnuskóli Reykjavíkur during the summers, as I had by this point reentered HÍ in order to finish my long-postponed BA in English Lit. My college years saw me working a variety of other jobs as well, including editing/translating the now-defunct design magazine aVs (an job that paid off, if only in experience), private tutoring gigs, assistant managing for the deservedly defunct Mama's Tacos, and finally working for one of my current three employers, ÍTR, or the Reykjavík Department of Youth and Recreation.

After graduating HÍ, with a GPA of 8,8 (Damn that last class and its annoying group work! It should have been a 9!) I continued working for ÍTR at Vogasel where I was recently promoted to "Frístundaráðgjafi" as well as working as a substitute English teacher/tutor and assistant librarian at Vogaskóli, and continuing to see one client for the Social Services. The plan was, and still is, to return to HÍ and finish an M.Ped, granting me the right to teach at Icelandic secondary schools/junior colleges.

But that's just the plan.

Volunteerism and Such:

Over the years I've done my share of volunteer and non-paid work. I've "volunteered" for the Town of South Prairie, including writing and editing memos and other Town publications, helping to design the town logo, and installing equipment in and maintaining the two town parks.

If you're wondering why "volunteered" is in quotes, it's because my mother is the mayor.

I've also volunteered for Second Harvest, an organization that gleams fresh produce from harvested fields for local food banks, as well as The Foothills Rails to Trails Project, which converts abandoned rail lines into pedestrian and biking paths. In my teens I volunteered as a camp counselor for my school district's outdoor education program, where I got to teach sixth graders archery and canoeing and other fun stuff, as well as volunteer English tutoring/mentoring for exchange students in my old school district. I'd love to volunteer at The Intercultural Center, or get involved in local politics, but who has the time?

Hobbies and Other Creative Wastes of Time:
I used to have a lot more of these. Seriously. Once upon a time I made jewelry and musical instruments for pocket money and fun, played music with a revolving collection of friends, held informal fencing sessions, worked out a lot, hiked, biked, and home-brewed.
These days its been whittled down to blogging, remodeling my apartment, reading, and watching geeky movies with my friends.
I've got to change that.

The Job I Want:

While I am relatively happily employed at the moment, I really don't see my current jobs as adding up to a long-term career. Ideally, I'd like to work as a professional blogger, writer, editor, English instructor (junior college or higher), fashion maven, rock star, or Salma Hayak's pool boy.

Hire me?